I've been working on this for a few months -- and as usual, finding the right speech sample tied it all together.

That's not me scratching live on a turntable, though. I took a couple samples by DJ Puzzle, and ran 'em through a bunch of semi-randomizing effects.

9 MB MP3, six minutes and forty-one seconds.

those three chimes again!
you know this number by heart,
oh heartless device!
you used to dial it without fail
when I was sleeping with her.

but now that all I want is dinner
and all she wants is some obscure favor,
three chimes signify
you won't even try to place the call.

I'm not bothered by how important you say you are,
and even if my eyes moved (as those of some of my more expensive breathren do)
instead of just my up-stretched hand rocking to and fro,
I would not choose to watch you dipping small bits of expertly cut fish
that you haltingly pretend to pronounce.

The lady who put me on my shelf
as if it watch over fumbling chopstickery
explains that I bring good luck, but when
dinner is over and she goes home I know that much like you, her luck comes
from a flat screen television upon the wall