This weekend I was doing yoga while tripping, and I somehow touched upon the idea that they don't have to be seperate -- and in fact, they are /not/ seperate, it's all the same mind.

Pretty obvious from this end, right?

But I didn't quite realize that I had thought that, as it was happening on some other-than-(altered)-concious level, so I got into pacing in circles and trying to put it together.

I realized somehow that I needed to be moving, dancing, and then it'd all make sense.

So, with some confusion I got to Vibrant and got in and found friends and discovered that I actually /can/ swallow pills if I'm confused enough to forget that I can't, but I was still feeling kinda unsettled there -- like I was trying to mix two songs, my day tripping in that park and that party and not quite matching the beats.

To aid the transition I found a "quiet" corner and a hard vertical surface and meditated for a while. Later I danced and talked to people and wandered around and sweated a lot, having great fun as usual, but still different somehow.

After some hours of that I needed to center some more, so I found an actually quiet corner (wow!) and sat down and did some more meditating, aware of what level (for lack of a better word) my conciousness was on yet also aware of many of the other levels where thoughts were taking place.

Then I went back upstairs to commune with Da, who was spinning trancey house in the chill room (somehow it worked.) Leah sat down with us, too, and handed me the puppy.

The usual puppy stuff happened.

Next time the puppy came my way, though, I sipped to extend it somewhat, and as the puppy breath began to take hold I began to meditate.

Very, very quickly I reached the slightly familiar and still slightly scary point of infinite regression -- usually I'll find myself thinking "wow, I've thought this before and I've thought that I thought that before and I've thought that I thought /that/ before" ad infinitum until giggling at how silly it is and coming back out.

This time, though, that regression regressed in upon itself, cubed or something, and THAT cubed, and I went through. I had absolutely no sense of anything outside.

So far as I can tell, I touched God (using the kabalistic definition of ain sof, essentially infinite/nothing.)

No idea how long I was there, but when I returned to this reality a couple of wonderful new friends whose names I can't remember were looking at me concernedly; I was mostly okay, but it was clearly gonna take a while to fully return.
So I got the idea to go and dance, to help return to the body; while dancing, though, I started meditating again -- this was the same mantra, which is normally only practiced while seated and stationary. But it worked.

I was able to totally trance out, and even deeper than before; my body was moving almost of its' own accord, doing things I recognized as rare movements that I have usually stopped doing as soon as I recognized that I was doing them, simply because the recognition turned into analysis. But in this state there was less analysis, and instead only awareness.

I must have been in that state for well over an hour, and then returned to the chill room and just stood there looking at all of my friends there being themselves, thinking back over the night and the day before it, realizing, aware, totally filled with love.

Then I caught a cab and went home.


We all talk about drug experiences constantly, and use them as a way to compare our mindsets while continuing to reprogram our minds...but until this list started, there was no place to discuss non-chemical reprogramming, meditation and yoga and all that fun stuff.

For me, drug use has brought me back to meditiation. It has given me a framework and a vocabulary for understanding what's going on inside my mind. And yet, I never to combined them until the other night. Doing so was amazing.