I love you, completely
but I may not have the strength
to live with you completely
to gain the joy of being alone with you
I have lost the option to be alone with myself
to scream my own thoughts unassailed
to rail at the stars without reason
to meditate without interruption
to hum tunelessly and remain true to the song

if I were asked to choose but one word,
     it could of course never be considered sufficient, and yet

were I to combine every word I know
into a gigantic Germanic non-onomatopoetic goat rodeo of syllables
crashing together like the collective output
     of an infinite number of monkeys
          armed with remote controlled robot dogs, oh no

even that would not adequately describe
my love for you.

intentionally held distant, I watch
and you seem happy -- almost;
the radiance of your rare true smile
marred always
by an uncertain, enigmatic sadness.